Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Things that make you go 'Hmmm!' - Part Deux

In this installment of the 'Things that make you go Hmmmm!' segment, I ask the question; How far are you willing to suspend your belief in the authenticity of a patch in order to convince yourself to buy it? I am guessing that some must go really far. I have seen some VERY questionable stuff online lately and considering the economic situation, it shouldn't come as a surprise.

I will say this about card patches, if there is a question in your mind about whether it is real or not, then its fake. I have used this rule without fail for about 3 years now and it has saved me money, shame and jail time from the inevitable assault charge that would ensue when I google-earthed the sellers house and hit him in the head with a factory sealed '87 Topps set.

I even go as far as ask the seller if they pulled the card themselves. This puts the honesty onus on them. If there is a shred of decency in them, and the patch is fake, then they will not answer the email. If they answer any form of the word 'no', followed by any explanation, then they are a hopeless dingleberry. If by chance they say 'yes', I actually tend to trust them, as they know that they are personally vouching for its' authenticity. It takes other-worldly balls to say yes to that question and lie.

Here is my favorite example of someone on ebay that probably has those other-worldly balls. Not only does this guy label basically every card as some kind of 1/1, but he actually has the cojones to list all his fakes together. If someone is that bold (slash stupid) to list a number of fakes at the same time, then they will definitely answer whatever they think you want to hear.
Check out just 2 of his 'SWEET 1/1's!' Here, and Here. Trust me, there's more.

I'll let you find the Leaf Rookies and Stars card that he describes as 'The Holy Grail'. Even if they inserted a flippin piece of the Holy Grail prop from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and it was signed by this guy, there still would never be a Leaf Rookies and Stars card that should EVER be called a Holy Grail.

Wait. Scratch that. Leaf Rookies and Stars is in fact the Holy Grail of Manufactured Patch Autos. My bad. See, that's what happens when you use finite words like 'never' and 'ever'.

So be on the lookout for more of these types of shenanigans. As the economy plummets, jerk stores from all over will be trying to flip these for a quick buck. Don't be the guy who gets stuck with it. If you have a question about one, I urge you to contact me and we will let the community decide. That means that like 3 people including my wife, will take a look. And you can't beat that kind of service.


  1. I am so glad you started a blog. Concentrated doses of you are just as hilarious as jello shots of you.

  2. I've found some really questionable stuff as well. I've got a Clinton Portis PC and every once in a while there's just some unreal patch on ebay. One time I saw a patch that was more or less the entire Redskin logo. While it looked amazing and had relatively low numbering, I did some research and could not find a single photo in the years preceding the release of the card that even showed that particular logo on the 'Skins game jerseys. Sure enough, I sent the guy a message asking him if he had pulled it himself and the answer came back negative.

    Some guy ended up buying it for like $50. It ended up back on ebay like a week later, after I imagine the buyer realized his mistake.

  3. That's another problem with buying these. It sometimes makes good people turn bad because they will try to sell it to get some of their wasted money back.

    I for one don't see any problem reselling IF you put a disclaimer in explaining that you feel like its a fake patch. Kinda like selling a card with a bent corner.

  4. The sad part is that some naive people spend a lot of f'ing money on these!

    These come up on message boards all the time, and in fact there is an entire thread dedicated to warning people about one guy from NC and his 4 or 5 different eBay seller names.

    The thing I don't get is, how could there be that many "collectors" who don't know that:

    1. NFL Logo Shields are waaayyy bigger than that.

    2. Logo cards are usually 1/1 or at least less than /5.

    3. You can pretty much always find the checklist or someone knowledgable somewhere to determine if a card is legit.

    I guess in summation, my point is this:

    How are there this many STUPID F"ING PEOPLE OUT THERE!!!

  5. HOFHawk - If you have a link to that thread, I would love to see it. I live in NC and would be interested in studying his guys business habits.